Examination of Conscience & How to Go to Confession
Confession isn’t a courtroom. It’s a homecoming. This page will help you look at your life honestly and gently, in the light of God’s love, and then walk you through the sacrament step by step.
God is waiting to forgive you
Before you look at a single sin, look at Jesus. On the evening of His Resurrection He breathed on His apostles, gave them the Holy Spirit, and sent them to forgive sins in His name (Jn 20:21–23). The Sacrament of Penance is that gift, still given today. The Church calls it by several names, each showing a different side of the same mercy: the sacrament of conversion, because it answers Jesus’ call to come back to the Father; of Penance; of confession; of forgiveness, because through the priest God grants “pardon and peace”; and of Reconciliation, because it restores us to God and to the Church (CCC 1422–1424).
An examination of conscience is simply an honest, prayerful look at your life since your last confession. The Church encourages us to do it in the light of God’s word, such as the moral teaching of the Gospels and the apostolic letters, like the Sermon on the Mount (CCC 1454). The Ten Commandments are a sure guide, because they spell out what is seriously wrong (CCC 1858). We don’t examine ourselves to feel crushed. We do it so that we can hand our sins over to a Father who already loves us, the way the prodigal son came home to a father who ran out to meet him (Lk 15:11–32; CCC 1439).
In Confession, we are asked to tell the priest every mortal sin we can remember after a careful examination. By doing so, we place all of it before God’s mercy, and nothing we bring to Him is too much for Him (CCC 1456). Confessing everyday, lesser faults is not strictly required, but the Church warmly recommends it, because the sacrament helps us form our conscience, fight bad habits, let Christ heal us, and grow in the life of the Spirit (CCC 1458).
A word if you tend to worry. This page is a guide, not a test. You don’t need to answer every question, and you don’t need to be certain about everything before you go. Pray, do your honest best, and trust the priest to help. If you often feel anxious, stuck, or never sure you’ve confessed “well enough,” you may be struggling with scrupulosity. That’s common and nothing to be ashamed of. Please tell a priest, who can give you simple guidance to follow, and be gentle with yourself as God is gentle with you.
Mortal and venial sin, explained gently
Not every sin is the same. Scripture itself speaks of sin that leads to death and sin that does not (1 Jn 5:16–17), and the Church distinguishes mortal from venial sin (CCC 1854).
Mortal sin
A sin is mortal when three things are all true at once (CCC 1857):
- Grave matter. The act itself is seriously wrong. The Ten Commandments help us see what is grave (CCC 1858).
- Full knowledge. I knew it was seriously wrong (CCC 1859).
- Deliberate consent. I freely chose it anyway (CCC 1859).
Mortal sin is a real turning away from God, so serious that it cuts us off from His life of grace (CCC 1855, 1861). But it is never the end of the story. God’s mercy reaches it in the Sacrament of Penance, which restores what was lost (CCC 1856, 1468).
Our freedom and knowledge are not always complete. Ignorance we aren’t responsible for, strong emotions, outside pressure, fear, habit, or illness can lessen how much we are responsible for something (CCC 1860, 1735). The Church also reminds us that while we can say an act is gravely wrong, we must leave the judgment of a person to the justice and mercy of God (CCC 1861). That includes how you judge yourself. If you’re not sure whether something was mortal, just confess it and tell the priest you’re unsure.
Venial sin
A sin is venial when the matter is less serious, or when it is serious but we didn’t fully know or fully consent (CCC 1862). Venial sin weakens our love and makes it harder to do good. It doesn’t break our friendship with God, and with His grace it can be repaired (CCC 1863). Still, it’s worth taking seriously, because small, deliberate habits of sin can slowly lead us toward bigger ones (CCC 1863).
Before Holy Communion. Anyone aware of having committed a mortal sin should go to Confession before receiving Holy Communion. The only exception is a grave reason when there is no chance to confess, and then one makes an act of perfect contrition and intends to confess as soon as possible (CCC 1457; can. 916). Venial sins don’t keep you from Communion; in fact the Eucharist itself wipes them away (CCC 1394).
Ask the Holy Spirit for light
Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would guide us to all truth and convict the world concerning sin (Jn 16:8, 13). Ask Him to show you your life as God sees it: truthfully, and with love.
A traditional prayer to the Holy Spirit
Come, O Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Thy faithful, and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love.
V. Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created.
R. And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth.
Let us pray. O God, who hast taught the hearts of the faithful by the light of the Holy Spirit, grant that by the gift of the same Spirit we may be always truly wise, and ever rejoice in His consolations, through Christ our Lord. Amen.
A short prayer before examining your conscience
Holy Spirit, Light of my heart, help me to see my life the way You see it. Show me where I have loved well and where I have failed to love. Give me true sorrow without fear, the courage to confess honestly, and the trust to rest in the Father’s mercy. Mary, my Mother, stay close to me. Amen.
Source: Traditional text, My Prayer-Book (Lasance, 1908), public domain; versicle from Psalm 104:30. The second prayer was written for LearnGodsLight. See more at Catholic Prayers. Adapted with the modern name “Holy Spirit”.
An examination of conscience
Based on the Ten Commandments, in the numbering used by the Catholic Church (CCC 2052–2557). Read slowly. Not every question will apply to you; pause where the Holy Spirit nudges your heart.
Private by design. You may tick the boxes to help you remember what to confess. Your ticks stay only on this screen: they are never saved or sent anywhere. Nothing is stored on your device or our server, and the ticks disappear when you close or reload the page. Use Clear all to erase them right away, for example on a shared device. If you prefer, print this page and use a pen, or simply pray through the questions without ticking anything.
For children and for teens
Parents, catechists, and young people can use these simpler questions. Children usually make their first Confession before their First Holy Communion (CCC 1457).
Jesus loves me. How have I loved?
- Did I pray to God, like in the morning, at meals, and at bedtime?
- Did I say God’s name or Jesus’ name in a mean or silly way?
- Did I go to Mass on Sunday when I could, and try to pay attention?
- Did I obey my mom, dad, and teachers?
- Was I mean to anyone, hit anyone, or call anyone names?
- Did I keep my body and my eyes pure, and stay away from bad pictures or shows?
- Did I take something that isn’t mine, or break something and hide it?
- Did I tell lies, or say unkind things about others?
- Was I jealous of other kids’ toys or games?
- Did I share, and say sorry when I hurt someone?
Tip for parents: practice the steps at home, and remind your child that the priest is kind and that Jesus is so happy when we come to Him.
Being honest with God
- Have I made time for God, or only prayed when I needed something?
- Have I put my phone, games, popularity, or a relationship ahead of God?
- Have I used God’s name as a swear word?
- Have I skipped Mass on Sunday when I could have gone?
- Have I been disrespectful or dishonest with my parents?
- Have I bullied, excluded, or mocked anyone, in person or online?
- Have I harmed my body with vaping, drinking, drugs, or anything else?
- Have I looked at porn, or done sexual things outside of marriage?
- Have I sent, asked for, or shared sexual images?
- Have I cheated, shoplifted, or pirated things?
- Have I lied, gossiped, or posted things that hurt someone’s reputation?
- Have I been jealous or ungrateful for what I have?
If something is weighing on you, you can also talk to a parent, a priest, or another trusted adult. If you are ever in danger or thinking of hurting yourself, call or text 988 in the U.S.
How to go to Confession, step by step
If it’s your first time in a while, you’re in good company, and the priest will gladly help you. In this sacrament he fulfills the ministry of the Good Shepherd who goes after the lost sheep, and he is meant to be a sign and instrument of God’s merciful love (CCC 1465). Many parishes let you choose whether to kneel behind a screen or sit face to face with the priest (can. 964).
- Prepare. Pray to the Holy Spirit, examine your conscience, and ask God for true sorrow and a firm resolve to do better. It’s fine to bring a short note to help you remember.
- Begin. The priest welcomes you. Together you make the Sign of the Cross: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” He may invite you to trust in God’s mercy, and he may read a short passage of Scripture.
- Say when you last confessed. A customary way to start is: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [about how long] since my last confession.” If you don’t remember, or it’s your first time in years, just say so.
- Confess your sins. Tell your sins simply and honestly. For mortal sins, say what kind of sin it was and, as best you can, about how many times. You don’t need long stories. When you’re done, you might say: “For these and all my sins, I am sorry.” If you get stuck, the priest will help you.
- Listen and receive your penance. The priest may offer some advice, and he will give you a penance: a prayer, an act of kindness, or something else that helps repair the harm of sin and heal your heart (CCC 1459–1460). If you didn’t understand the penance, or you don’t think you can do it, it’s fine to ask.
- Pray an Act of Contrition. The priest will invite you to express your sorrow. You may use one of the prayers below, or speak from your heart in your own words.
- Receive absolution. The priest extends his hand(s) over you and prays the prayer of absolution, which ends: “I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Answer, “Amen.” Through the priest’s ministry, God Himself forgives your sins (CCC 1441, 1449).
- Go in peace. The priest may invite you to give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and dismiss you in peace. Do your penance soon, and thank God. Reconciliation is usually followed by peace and serenity of conscience; the Church says the sacrament brings about a true “spiritual resurrection,” restoring our friendship with God (CCC 1468).
The seal of Confession. Whatever you confess stays between you, the priest, and God, forever. The Church binds every confessor to absolute secrecy about the sins he hears, with no exceptions, and calls this the “sacramental seal” (CCC 1467; can. 983–984). A priest who directly breaks it incurs automatic excommunication (can. 1386 §1). You can speak freely.
The steps follow the Rite for Reconciling Individual Penitents in the U.S. Order of Penance (2023), nos. 41–47. “Bless me, Father” is a familiar custom, not a required formula. The prayer texts of the rite are copyrighted (ICEL); only short phrases are quoted here.
Act of Contrition
Contrition is sorrow for sin together with the resolve not to sin again (CCC 1451). Sorrow that comes from love of God is called “perfect”; sorrow that comes from other motives, such as fear of punishment, is “imperfect,” and it too is a gift of the Holy Spirit that is enough for Confession (CCC 1452–1453).
Traditional Act of Contrition
O my God! I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
A short prayer of the penitent
Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Source: Traditional Act of Contrition, Baltimore Catechism (1885), public domain. The short prayer is the ancient “Jesus Prayer,” drawn from the tax collector’s plea in Lk 18:13 and the blind man’s cry in Lk 18:38; the Order of Penance (2023), nos. 45, 92, lists it among the prayers a penitent may use. The other approved forms, including the familiar one ending “to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin” (no. 92), are copyrighted, so we link to them instead. You can read them at usccb.org. Your own heartfelt words are welcome too. See also Catholic Prayers.
The nightly Examen: five minutes with God
You don’t have to wait for Confession to look at your life with God. St. Ignatius of Loyola taught a simple daily examination that many people pray before bed. It’s less about hunting for sins and more about noticing God’s presence and responding to His love. Here are its five steps, in our own words (Spiritual Exercises, no. 43):
- Give thanks. Recall the gifts of today, big and small, and thank God for each one.
- Ask for light. Ask the Holy Spirit for the grace to see your day truthfully and to recognize your sins.
- Review the day. Walk through the day hour by hour, from waking until now: your thoughts, your words, and your actions. Where did you meet God? Where did you turn away?
- Ask forgiveness. Tell the Lord you’re sorry for where you fell short, and rest in His mercy.
- Resolve, with hope. With God’s grace, choose one thing to do better tomorrow. End with an Our Father.
Praying the Examen each night also makes it much easier to prepare for Confession when the time comes.
Find a time for Confession
Most parishes offer Confession every week, often on Saturday, and many add extra times during Advent and Lent. Times change, so it’s best to check your parish bulletin or website, or simply call the parish office. You can also ask a priest for an appointment.
Find Confession times near you (MassTimes.org)
MassTimes.org is an independent directory. Please confirm times with the parish before you go.
Common questions
What if I forget a sin in Confession?
If you made an honest effort to examine your conscience, the sins you forgot are forgiven along with the rest. If you later remember a mortal sin you forgot, simply mention it the next time you go. There is no need to worry or to rush back for a venial sin.
Source: CCC 1456; Code of Canon Law, can. 988
Will the priest tell anyone what I confess?
Never. The seal of Confession binds the priest absolutely, with no exceptions: he may not reveal your sins or use what he heard in any way. A priest who directly violates it incurs automatic excommunication.
Source: CCC 1467; Code of Canon Law, can. 983–984, 1386 §1
How often should I go to Confession?
The Church asks us to confess serious sins at least once a year, and to go before receiving Communion if we are aware of a mortal sin. She also warmly recommends regular Confession of everyday faults. Many people go about once a month.
Source: CCC 1457–1458, 2042
It has been years. Can I still go?
Yes, and the priest will be glad you came. Just tell him it has been a long time; he will help you through it. Jesus tells the story of the father who runs to meet his returning son, and that is the welcome He offers you.
Source: Lk 15:11–32; CCC 1439, 1465
Do I have to confess venial sins?
No, only mortal sins must be confessed. Venial sins are also forgiven in other ways, for example through sincere sorrow, prayer, and Holy Communion. But the Church strongly recommends confessing them too, because the sacrament gives grace to grow and to heal.
Source: CCC 1458, 1394, 1436–1437, 1452; Code of Canon Law, can. 988 §2
Teaching on this page follows the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) and the Code of Canon Law. Scripture is cited by chapter and verse so you can read it in your own Bible. This guide doesn’t replace the advice of a priest.